Chocolatey
by actual
Summary: Near-illegal amounts of chocolate, six movies, and lateness combined with Ash and Misty equals much amusement and a painfully cute story. Really.


It all started out so innocently enough. Just a couple of movies,  
some junk food, staying up late... sleeping in late...  
  
Perhaps the first deviation from a (relatively) safe evening was  
the chocolate. Or, to be more precise, the quantity.  
  
... the agreement, as she had understood it, was that each of them  
would beg, borrow or steal a few movies of their choice, and also  
snag some really evil food. The engagement had originally  
included herself, Ash, and Brock... though strangely enough, Brock  
had opted to stay home by himself.   
  
Anyways, the point was that while she had selected her movies, and  
managed to extricate some microwave popcorn from the disaster that  
functioned as her kitchen, Ash still hadn't showed up. And it was  
literally hours after the prescribed time.  
  
Stomping her foot on the floor, she cursed vividly for a few  
moments, scrabbling angrily on and about the sofa for her cell  
phone. Just as she found it (wedged between the cushions) a loud  
thumping noise was readily audible. Misty restrained herself from  
screaming, instead settling with flinging the cell across the room.  
  
After taking momentary joy in the sound of precisely designed  
electronic components crunching and reverting to a decidedly  
nonfunctional state, she strode briskly to the door, hands clenched  
into white-knuckled fists. In retrospect, flinging the door open  
was a bad, dumb, stupid, idiotic, doltish, all-around-not-very-  
bright idea.  
  
The result?  
  
Introduction of one sopping wet individual, many damp video  
cases, and a rather large cardboard box laden with a variety of  
candy bars, to her nice clean (sic) hall.  
  
Also a damnably huge mess when all of it tumbled onto the floor  
in one giant wet miserable Godforsaken heap.  
  
"Ash, is it possible for you to do ANYTHING right?"  
  
The response was rather muffled, probably due to the fact that  
said individual had landed face down on the ceramic floor. Being  
covered with much chocolate probably didn't improve the acoustics,  
either.  
  
"Uhh, I guess I was kinda leaning on the door, heh... ahh...  
sorry?"  
  
"Ya think? ... no big deal, I guess..."  
  
Ash cringed underneath the giant pile of chocolate, wishing the  
evening had come off to a better start. The tone in which Misty  
had added "no big deal" really suggested that she personally felt  
otherwise, but was making great personal sacrifice to cope with  
his personal inadequacy. And not enjoying it.  
  
"Where did you get all this..." she waved her arms, gesticulating   
wildly, "... junk?"  
  
"It's not junk, Misty... I'll have you know that it's certainly a  
premium chocolate product..."  
  
"That wasn't my point, flyboy."  
  
"Uh, okay. Well, you said to bring something. I was nearly sure  
that chocolate would be a good choice, as usually you're less   
ir-ri-ta-ble... uh, I mean, I know you really like chocolate."  
  
Sitting up and starting to help Misty finish shoveling the myriad  
bars of chocolatey goodness into the box again, Ash tried to  
convince himself that she had missed his verbal slip-and-fall  
accident.  
  
"So anyways, there was a lot of chocolate to pick from, and lots of  
it was on sale, so I just kinda randomly threw things in the box,  
there."  
  
"Lovely. What movies?"  
  
Tilting his head to the side, tossing his hair back, Ash puffed his  
chest out momentarily, reciting his videos in an over-dramatic,  
overdone, overly-strange voice.  
  
"'Aliens', 'The Evil Dead 2', and 'The Legend Of Drunken Master.'  
See, I've got one from each of the movie-food-group staples.   
Sci-fi, horror, and imported kung-fu..."  
  
Misty rolled her eyes and smacked him with the back of her hand.  
This measure did not, unfortunately, secure silence. Ash  
continued prattling on, seemingly endlessly.  
  
"... well, maybe 'Aliens' should be considered a horror movie, but  
the title has aliens in it, so it counts as sci-fi too...   
Anyways... what are my wholesome, lovable little flicks going to be  
stacked up against tonight?"  
  
Shoving him hard enough to send him sprawling back across the  
floor, Misty carried the now-full box into the living room.  
  
"Well, now that you've finally shut up, I can tell you. Jeez..."  
  
"Hey, wait, come back with that!"  
  
Scrabbling helplessly, Ash managed to scoop up his movies and half-  
crawl-half-stagger semi-drunkenly down the hall after her.  
  
Upon reaching the living room, he was confronted with Misty lying  
sprawled, covering most of the sofa, the box of chocolate within  
comfortable distance.  
  
"My movie first," she gloated, using the remote control as a tool  
of torture, beginning a session of pure unadulterated hate, that  
would last an hour and a half. This hell was known as "Never Been  
Kissed." And it was bad.  
  
He voiced his opinion. To recieve a decidedly negative response.  
In the form of a bar of chocolate bouncing off his head.  
  
Unwrapping the chocolate and consuming it as rapidly as his body  
would permit, Ash fumbled blindly, drunkenly in the dark. Finally,  
he found the object of his search; two plastic cases.  
  
Holding them up to the flickering blue light of the television,  
he strained his already-bloodshot eyes, searching for the titles  
of the modern Iron Maiden that the tapes construed. He cursed  
fluently, fluidly, and vividly for several minutes.  
  
"Oh dear God, have mercy upon my unclean soul... 'The Wedding  
Planner', and 'Serendipity?'"  
  
"Shut up and watch the damn movie, Ash."  
  
"Alright, alright..."  
  
He leaned up against the sofa; there was obviously no room to  
accomodate him, unless he could shift Misty somehow, or she  
consented to make room for him. Option one was a Bad Idea(tm) on  
principle, option two was really, really unlikely.  
  
Downing more chocolate, he looked up at her. Truly; a goddess clad  
in pajamas dotted with miniature Pokemon, her red hair settling,  
free of its customary ponytail, about her shoulders. Pink lips  
were smeared with chocolate, her eyes slightly glazed and obviously  
intent on the television.  
  
Reminding himself that both breathing and eating chocolate were  
vital to surviving through the rest of the movie, Ash managed to  
draw his adoring stare from the object of his affection, and stare  
dully at the movie.  
  
He wouldn't mind being squeezed on the couch with Misty, really...  
No! That's not an appropriate "watching movie with best friend"  
thought pattern. No... think about... movie. And chocolate.  
  
Bad stuff happened; he had some chocolate. Good stuff happened;  
he had some more chocolate. "Funny" things happened; Misty giggled  
and he had much chocolate.  
  
Misty gradually came to realize that HER chocolate was being eaten  
by the supposed giver of said delicious confection -- Ash was  
munching at least as much chocolate as she was. She was almost  
tempted to ignore it and just ruffle his hair or tease him  
playfully, but then she remembered "Aliens" and knew that revenge  
was to be extracted. Painful revenge.  
  
She waited, listening as chocolate was greedily consumed by her  
candy-thieving companion... withheld motion until Ash extended his  
hand to the box-o-chocolate...  
  
And then she pounced. Hopping down from the couch, Misty  
purposefully tumbled down onto Ash, her momentum causing them both  
to roll a few times.  
  
At the end of several revolutions, the semi-tangle of Ash and Misty  
came to a full and complete stop; as opposed to never stopping, or  
stopping before starting, or any of an infinite number of other  
things that could have alternatively happened.  
  
The end configuration of the tumbling bout was with Misty on top,  
half-on top of Ash. Partially supported by her bent arm, she was  
held slightly aloft by Ash holding her somewhere about her  
underarms.  
  
The ensuing awkward silence and forced dialogue would have reduced  
a howler monkey to uncontrollable laughter and most likely  
subsequent death, had a howler monkey occupied the same continent  
and actually been present.  
  
"Ahh... sorry." she managed to squeak.  
  
"No problem, I guess..."  
  
"... would you mind, ummm... shifting your grip, a little... it's  
kind of... uncomfortable?"  
  
"Oh, uhh... yeah, I see what you mean."  
  
Awkwardly moving to correct the Ash-causing-discomfort-to-Misty  
inadvertantly situation, Ash was so intently trying to   
concentrate upon other, more wholesome thoughts, that he neglected  
to wonder why he didn't just run away.  
  
Subsequently, he didn't. And thusly, subjected the nonexistant  
howler monkey to more forced dialogue and silence.  
  
Also, the gradual, simultaneous, unbelievably coordinated  
gravitation of their lips together. Almost.  
  
Almost, as in "close enough to taste the chocolate on her lips"  
-- yeah, that sort of thing.  
  
This romantic, chocolate-fueled moment was punctuated by the end  
of "Never Been Kissed."  
  
Suddenly, all considerations of further romantic involvement  
vanished from the now-freed mind of Ash. Insertion of "Aliens"  
into the video deck was now his sole purpose in life, overriding  
true love, happiness, even making time with Misty. Yes, truly.  
  
Without any warning whatsoever, Ash slipped away, slithering  
sinously away, making hissing alien noises and strange faces, that,  
thankfully went unseen in the dark.  
  
One of the results of this event was Misty dropping rudely to the  
floor. The other was a brilliant application of chaos theorem,  
in which Ash's repeated blunders in the dark triggered a geological  
fault across the world, causing a volcano eruption and countless  
deaths. In a parallel universe.  
  
Noises then pierced the dark silence. The silence was dark, and  
then it was pierced. Rudely. With curses unfit for print.  
  
Suddenly the loud rudeness of "Aliens" at some ungodly decibel-  
level really punctuated the silence. For a moment, Misty believed  
her eardrums had been punctuated as well, but further medical  
inspection the following day proved otherwise.  
  
And then, just as un-suddenly as the sudden was unexpected, all of  
the noise stopped.  
  
"Ash?"  
  
"Ash... did you do that?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Make it stop..."  
  
"Why would I do that?"  
  
"I don't KNOW... did you do it?"  
  
"Uh, no. Misty, why aren't the lights working?"  
  
"I don't know Ash, why don't you try and find some brilliant,  
absolutely genius explanation for it. While your at it, how about,  
'power outage?'"  
  
"Oh, yeah..."  
  
"... and, uhh... sorry about dropping you like that."  
  
Her response made him afraid, very afraid.  
  
"Oh, no problem..."  
  
Sudden topic change was advisable. Escape from scary psycho-chick  
also highly advisable.  
  
"So, umm, yeah, Misty... what've you planned for the rest of the,  
uhh, evening, now?"  
  
"Maybe we could just pick up where we left off?"  
  
"And, umm, yeah, where was, that, again? Dammit, who locked the  
door! It's deadbolted... awww..."  
  
Ash cringed again, at the sound of bare footsteps across the tiled  
hall floor. And the jingling of keys dropping onto the floor.  
  
"Before you do anything rash, I've got something reaaallly   
important I've been meaning to tell you for a really long time now,  
Misty... and it's, uh, really important. Yeah!"  
  
"Anything important that you need to tell me, either I already  
know myself, or you've said it in your sleep while you were staying  
here before."  
  
"Oh, then you, already know, then?"  
  
"Yes, you dolt."  
  
"So that means..."  
  
"Yes again, yes."  
  
"... it was just..."  
  
"Yes, yes, already! Can't we get back to more pressing matters?"  
  
"Oh, you mean like..."  
  
Then there was a brief pause. Absolutely nothing interesting  
happened during this interruption in the riveting dialogue.  
Nothing that would have made the nonexistant howler monkey  
avert eye contact.  
  
"... that was pretty..."  
  
"Chocolatey."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
And may I assure you that nothing remotely interested happened  
after that, either. No proclamation of undying love, consummation  
of secret relationships, or even innocently falling asleep curled  
up together after making out. No.  
  
Nothing to see here, move along. 


End file.
